My partner ‘tested’ me when we were dating I just found out and feel cheated

A man said that his girlfriend confessed she lied to him when they were dating to test how he would react, and now he feels cheated by the information and doesn’t know what to do about it

A man said that his girlfriend said that she lied to ‘test’ him when they were dating – and now he feels cheated by her actions.

Sharing his story anonymously, the man said that he had been with his girlfriend for a few months but when they were dating she lived in another city that was about an hour’s drive away.

One day they had planned to meet up but she cancelled when he was halfway there, saying that she felt sick and wouldn’t be able to let him stay for the weekend – so he wished her well and turned back.

Now she’s admitted that the sickness was a lie that she told to test the man, as she wanted to gauge how he would react to the plans being cancelled at the last minute.

Taking to Reddit, the man said: “My girlfriend told me that she tested me by cancelling a date when we first started to go out.

“She waited until I was halfway to the city before cancelling. I remember texting her as I got into the car and telling her I was on my way and she still waited until I was halfway to the city.

“She had a lot of opportunities to cancel before I had driven half an hour. The date being cancelled sucked but she told me she was feeling sick and I told her it was okay and told her to get better.

“I had also asked her if she wanted me to come over and she said she didn’t want to.

“She told me that it was a big moment for our relationship as she found that I am very considerate but honestly I get why she wanted to test me but I really am p****d off by the way she tested me.

“She had no consideration for my time and effort – It was as if she really wanted to inconvenience me to see how I would react.

“I told her that it was pretty inconsiderate to wait until I had driven halfway to cancel and she had been really inconsiderate in the way she tested me.

“She apologised half-heartedly and then said it was not a big deal and it has been four months. I told her it was a big deal to me and we had an argument about it.”

The post soon attracted comments from other Reddit users, who all agreed that the man was right to be annoyed.

One said: “The fact that she isn’t remorseful at all? That’s your second red flag. The fact she’s made you feel like the a*e for being rightfully upset? That’s your third red flag.

“This chick is a manipulative, gaslighting trouble box.”

While a second added: “She should have kept quiet about her little ‘test’. Your behaviour on that day was appropriate and considerate – good for you. Obviously you ‘passed’.

“But now, going forward, when anything comes up, you may be wondering ‘is this a test?’ Because yeah, It might be. You need to have a little discussion about this.”

And a third wrote: “I’m a woman and women who ‘test’ men piss me off. If you need to see how a dude would respond to a certain situation, you can always pose a hypothetical.

“‘Testing’ is another word for manipulating and it’s gross.”